I Love You, Shut Up

So tonight there was a segment on ABC news about Mommy Bloggers, and how awesome it is, and how much free crap they get and blah blah blah, and I get the question from my husband that I loathe so much: "Hey why don't you do that? You could totally do it; that looks easy." Okay, first of all, no it's not easy. These bloggers, and the various other award winning "Mommy Bloggers" are not the only ones out there. For every Heather Armstrong, there's, say, 150 mes that write but do not have that "it" spark that projects a blog from family/friend read to an actual public offering. My attempt at an argument went thus: 1)some bloggers have things like activities, arts and crafts, recipes, decorating, or some such how-to thing that other parents can use for ideas. While I have posted recipes, I just am not creative often enough to have daily or even monthly project postings; 2) some deal with things like specially abled children, post-partum depression, balancing work/school/home/combination of any or all of these (none of which I deal with); or some other topic people can relate to personally; 3) but the most read ones deal not only with a combination of these, but get very close and personal, bringing the reader into intimate details of the writer's life, sex life, relationships with in-laws, neighbors and parents, photos of the kids, etc etc etc, all of which, by the way, he's completely been against in past conversations about Why My Blog Isn't A Money Maker. (Also I don't write in it enough, but this is about him). However, I never got to finish my pints because he said I talked to much and I was ruining the Special News Segment, so now I'm going to be petty and post this haha!! Now I just need to add a picture of my baby Doing Something Precocious and wait for the offers to roll in! Great idea!!

GoGo Barcelo and the Great Escapes

Bella hasn't quite reached the point where she solely walks, but if we lived in a house built by Escher, she'd have no problem getting around. I mean, the girl lives to climb. You could have a totally flat surface with her favorite toys laying about, and tucked far off in the back is one lone ottoman-and she will bypass everything else to climb on that ottoman. She mostly goes for the couch, but yesterday she climbed on my bed without even the slightest grunt or noise. One minute she was on the ground and I was chatting online with a friend's daughter I hadn't talked to in a year, and I turn around to see her sitting on the bed, just playing with my keys as quietly as possible. So now even if she's napping, it's become hard to enjoy a shower without thoughts of her waking up, attempting to climb out of the crib, and falling on her head. Last night she was impossible to put to sleep (that phrase does NOT sound right), so when she finally drifted off I had to risk waking her up by opening the door just to make sure she hadn't secretly gotten out of her crib and was heading toward the puzzles. Of course, this only leads to being more diligent. Like, locking the handle and bolt on the garage door, double-checking that all other doors are closed, and picking up myriad random objects, not just off the floor, but off the couch, any small tabletops, and of course making sure that things aren't hanging over the edges of tables. I have to say, in some ways it's pretty cool to watch. She can climb super fast, and this is also broadening her play area as well as keeping me from slacking off too much in the mom-watching area

The Only Mom Who Didn't Do Halloween

If it wasn't for Bells catching a fever, I'd have absolutely no excuse for why I had no costume and no plan for how to spend this October 31st.


My cousin's daughter, who was born earlier in the month, had a costume. I dug through a box of clothing until I found my niece's from two years ago and slipped it on. Then took it off an hour later when it seemed her fever was spiking, perhaps due to the hot felt costume.

The night was spent in dealing with her either bouncing off the wall (I guess I have the only kid who is more energetic while sick) or crying as I tried desperately to cool her off and calm her down.

finally, at around 4 am, her fever broke. At 7 she woke up crying again and I just brought her to bed with me, where we slept till almost 11.

Today, though, both her cousins came over, and we dressed them up and took them trick-or-treating to various bedroom doors with aunts and grandparents passing out candy. That was pretty cute.

I have twelve months till the next Halloween. Maybe I can get it together then.

This is Lame Even for Me.

Seriously, I haven't updated since August? I missed a whole month? And yet, there were no messages in my Inbox from loyal followers harrassing me for the next update.

Okay, well AnnaBella's taken steps, but not full-on walking. Meanwhile, my sister's best friend's son, who is only one month older, is just stomping away all merry as can be, even though he took his steps later! The nerve! However, she does have two teeth, can do the best dinosaur growl (even though My Darling Husband worries that all our roaring is damaging her vocal cords [it may be, but we have fun]), and can dance and bounce IN RHYTHM to the music, which I can't even do. So, I still hold that she's a genius.

We may have our own place soon if all goes well financially. I don't want to write more as I'm superstitious and may have said too much already.

I cook every night now, yet have finally lost these six pounds that have stuck with me like a bad zit since I lost the general amount of baby weight. Now I have just ten more to reach my first weight goal.

I'm not sure if that metaphor actually worked.

My fall line up shows are: Pan Am, Up All Night, The Playboy Club, Real Housewives of BH, of course the usual sspects of Community, The Office, Always Sunny in Philadelphis, still waiting for 30 Rock to come back, and missed Mad Fashion. So of course Playboy Club gets canceled and I guess I shouldn't be surprised because all the critics kept comparing it unfavorable to Mad Men, but you know what? Some of us didn't have cable when MM came out, and yes we are aware of it, but have seen maybe one episode because our SO doesn't feel like renting that when there's True Blood boobies to be seen instead or awesome It Crowd nerdiness, so we actually just enjoyed PC for itself. And now I guess I'll have to write or actually complete a craft project with this free hour. Or keep practicing walking with Bella.

And I don't really like talking about RHOBH because I realize it's in bad taste to watch a show where someone killed themselves in real life, but honestly I wish I knew someone who did watch it so we could laugh at the ridiculous new one that keeps blabbing about how much she spends ($25,000 sunglasses? WTF?!) And then you find out she's friends with the couple that overextended themselves financially (there's always one at least in each franchise) and you go, OOOOOOhhhhh. birds of a feather.


This is honestly the most I've written in forever. I woke up this morning realizing I dreamt in sentences, as if notating the dream itself, and thought, This is a day for writing! then proceeded to clean and organize the fridge and our closet. Because I get scared. It seems all the sentences that sound great in dreams either fade within thirty seconds of waking up or dumb down to hollow clangs of forced intellectualism the more I rewind them. It's really an awful trait of mine, self-defeat. Quitting before the starting gate opens. It's almost a relief this blog isn't really followed; that means I can run-on my sentences as much as I like and commit as many grammar abortions as I wish and maybe I'll get some Internet fool saying, Kill yourself, or an equally witty statement, and I'll think, I don't believe this person is actually qualified to give advice.

And now it is aftr midnight and I have a full plate tomorrow, but this is the most time I've had alone without anything to distract me. I can't clean, because everyone else is sleeping. I've picked up all the toys, premade all the bottles, and picked out tomorrow's outfit. The tv will wake up Al and since I have Pandora on, I can't play any Facebook games or everything will slow down on my slow, old old computer. We'll see how long I can keep this going. I mean nightly, not in the sense of "Let's see how many hours I can manically type!"


As usual, I can't think of a proper end, so I will just say until next time and hope that maybe I can update in less than a freaking month and a half.

YAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She has slept through the night three nights in a row!!!!!

Mama Sick, Baby Sick

The curse of the summer cold. I've always hated the feeling of of stuffed sinuses and hot weather. For Bella, it was worse, mainly because she doesn't know what's going on. All she knows is she can't breathe and her mother keeps attacking her nose with strange suction instruments and wipes every twenty minutes.

Where could we have gotten it? Well, it could be from my sister and niece, or from going to the local coffeeshop/kiddie playground, or the library, or Wal-Mart, or any of the tens of places we go to each week to stave off boredom and cabin fever.

Luckily, Gramandie and Papa have a large toy collection started for their first grandchild, so Bella has no end of toys to play with and a large window in her play area to look out of.

I started a notebook finally writing down her eating times, naptimes, what she ate, how many diapers and what kind, etc., etc., in an effort to figure out what helps her sleep at night better. However, when we both got sick (I had a fever, nausea and sore throat on top of the general misery of the cough and runny nose), the notes and any semblance of a schedule went out the window.

We were letting her stay up late, nap as long as she wanted, whenever she wanted, play and rule the den until midnight. So of course, now that she's feeling better, she is not liking being back on a schedule. But I need my sleep, so while she can play all she wants in the daytime, after her bath, it's time to settle down. Now if I can get her dad on the same playbook, things'll be gravy.

More Food!

As promised, some pictures and recipes for Tabbouleh and Vegan Cupcakes!

Tabbouleh:
1 cup bulgur wheat
3 tomatoes, seeded and chopped
2 cucumbers, seeded and chopped
3 green onions, chopped
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 cup chopped fresh parsley
1/3 cup fresh mint leaves
2 tsp salt
1/2 cup lemon juice
2/3 cup olive oil

1) Place bulgur wheat in bowl and cover with 2 cups boiling water. Soak for 30 minutes. Drain and squeeze out excess water

2) In a mixing bowl, combine wheat with rest of ingredients. Toss and refrigerate for at least 4 hours before serving. Toss again before serving.

Vanilla Cupcakes:
1 cup unsweetened almond milk
1 tsp apple cider vinegar
1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
2 tbsp corn starch
3/4 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1/3 cup canola oil
3/4 cup sugar
1 1/2 tsp pure vanilla extract

1) Preheat oven to 350
2) Whisk the almond milk and vinegar in a measuring cup and set aside for a few minutes to get good and curdled.
3)Sift Flour, cornstarch, baking powder, baking soda and salt into large mixing bowl
4) Beat together the almond milk mix, oil, sugar and vanilla extract in a large bowl. Sift in dry mix and mix until no large lumps.
5) Fill cupcake pans 2/3 up, bake 20-22 minutes



Now on to the pictures!!

Our drink station. Lemonade Punch on the left in the watermelon, Strawberry Punch on the right

The Baba Ghanoush. I don't even care for eggplant, and I was chowing down on this.

Our Mock Chicken Salad, later converted into Roasted Red Pepper Hummus. Sorry, no pictures of that; it was eaten too fast!

Vegan Cupcakes with S's delicious peppermint frosting. Sprayed pink with icing graffiti

Tabbouleh! Easily the most popular dish

And, the Rainbow Fruit Tray. Doesn't it just make you happy to look at it?

Mediterranean Shower

I threw my first baby shower this past Saturday. My younger sister Bex is having her second girl in August; so my sister S and I planned a Noah's Ark themed baby shower with Mediterranean food. So, yes I will have more recipes.

What I learned is that while price comparing at different stores is great on a small scale, when it comes to parties with more than three foodstuffs, keep it to 2 stores or you end up wasting more time than not. The DAY OF we realized I forgot several key items for punches, cupcakes, and dips due to a) doing everything the DAY BEFORE and b) losing track of what I bought where.

We got some great ideas from Shower In a Box for games and food, although we ended up only doing one game. No matter, the guests had fun and the food-which we have leftovers of in abundance-was raved about.

(On a side note, I lost my banana pudding recipe the other day, thought, "I'll just look it up on my blog," and realized that I had only typed 'Follow the directions on the box' or something similar. Lesson learned)

What I learned was themed parties and events are best done if you work on the different parts in the WEEKS leading up to said party, not DAYS. What I probably would have done if I could time travel back is
1)The minute we have the theme, use that week to plan out all foods, games, decoration, etc
2)Get crafts, plates, party favors, prizes and games the same time I got invitations, and work on those in the time leading up to the event
3) The week before, get all frozen items, baked goods, condiments and spices
4) Buy fresh items two days before
5) Through all this, keep everything in one spot, check off what you need, and do a double sweep the day before to ensure all is ready so you can bake and decorate.
6) Plan beforehand how things will run

What I did right:
1) Ask my sister to help. S is not only an incredible baker, she is great with themes, ideas and just creative and generous. I probably would have ended up with PB&J sandwiches and Oreos if I hadn't had her to keep it going
2) Kept a binder. I think my mom gave us an extra one. This is essential, as it held our recipes, guest lists/addresses, grocery lists, spreadsheets, and games.
3) Not sweat a schedule. So, okay we ended up doing only one game. And yes, a couple of people didn't show, so we ended up with a week worth of extra hummus, baba ghanoush, vegan cupcakes, and watermelon, but like I said, Bex was happy, guests were happy, and there were no family fallouts. That's worth skipping the Bingo game.

Okay, on to recipes (I'll add pics later; can't at this computer):

Rainbow Fruit Plate: I got this from the Shower in a Box site, and it was just so much fun to make, as well as gorgeous to look at. On a large circular platter, arrange the following in an arc pattern: Watermelon, cantaloupe, pineapple, kiwi, blueberries, purple grapes. The blueberries and grapes you can just put in kind of a half circle. Finish with large marshmallows on the bottom for clouds. You can also do strawberries, oranges, bananas, green grapes for the ROY G parts of the rainbow. So effortlessly lovely.

Baba Ghanoush: I got this off of allrecipes.com
and tripled it. There is actually not a lot left of this dish, one of the most popular.
1 eggplant
1/4 cup lemon juice
1/4 cup tahini
2 tablespoons sesame seeds
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 1/2 tablespoons olive oil

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Lightly grease a baking sheet (I just used Baker's Joy)
Stab hole in eggplant with fork. Place on baking sheet. Roast for 30-40 minutes (for three eggplants of medium size, I did 55-60 minutes), turning occasionally, or until soft. Remove from oven and place in a large bowl of cold water (or a sink). Remove from water, and peel skin off
Place eggplant, lemon juice, tahini, sesame seeds, and garlic in an electric blender, and puree. You can season with salt and pepper to taste at this point; I didn't. Transfer eggplant mixture to a mixing bowl, and slowly mix in olive oil. Refrigerate for at least three hours before serving.

Now, my dad made the Tahini, which roughly goes like this:

Lightly toast ~1/3 cup of sesame seeds in a small pan for about 5 minutes, stirring constantly. You cannot leave the seeds because if they over toast, you'll have a bitter taste to your tahini. Mix in food processor starting with 1/2 tsp of virgin or extra virgin olive oil, adding more as needed. Boom! You have tahini

Mock Chicken Salad(I increased this recipe by 5, which was unnecessary, and have made most of the leftovers into hummus, which I'll post afterward). From vegweb.com via Animalia International:
1 small can of chickpeas
1 green pepper or celery, diced
1/2 onion, diced
1/2 cup vegan mayonnaise or ranch dressing
salt and pepper to taste

Pour the chickpeas in a medium bowl, and mash with a potato masher until chunky
Toss in rest of ingredients and stir.

What I modified: Okay, I had like 5 can of chickpeas, I am not standing around with a potato masher. I threw the chickpeas by handfuls into our tiny food processor to do a rough mash, then finished up with the potato masher. I added garlic, curry powder, cumin and oregano to taste.

And Hummus: Easy to modify; add garlic, olive oil, tahini if you have any left over, and puree, puree, puree. Top with chopped roasted red peppers and sesame seeds, roasted garlic, or pine nuts. I brought this to Al's aunts house Sunday with some FlatOut! Honey Wheat Wraps and it was hugely enjoyed.

I got this recipe for Lemon Soy Aioli (or vegan mayo) from myrecipes.com:

2 cups water
2 peeled garlic cloves (or, if you're me, 5)
8 oz of tofu, drained (I had 14 oz)
3 tbsp fresh lemon juice
1 12 tbsp olive oil
3/4 tsp sea salt

Bring 2 cups of water to a boil in a small saucepan. Add garlic and cook 10 minutes.

As garlic is boiling, layer tofu between several layers of paper towels. Let sit 10 minutes.

Drain garlic. Chop tofu into chunks

Mix all ingredients in blender or food processor until smooth.

What I did: Well, we were running out of lemons, and hadn't bought lemon juice yet (hahaha! See what I mean about shopping at too many places in too short a time?) so I added a tiny bit of orange juice. That's about it here

We did purchase Sabra Classic Hummus as our one headache free side. For the dips and Mock Chicken Salad we put Stacy's Multigrain Pita Chips, rolled FlatOut! Honey Wheat wraps cut in half, and sliced cucumbers and squash

The rainbow Fruit trays were placed at either end of the table with toothpicks for germ free grabbing.

We also had:

"Greek" Salad: Greek is in quotations due to me not using pepperoncinis, or kalamata olives, and there was probably something else I forgot. This was just romaine lettuce, sliced red onion, and sliced black olives. I placed feta cheese on the side (we had a vegan guest) and also a Dressing of 1/3 cup white vinegar, 2/3 cup olive oil, 1 tsp oregano, and 1/2 tsp black pepper. We also had backups of ranch and balsamic vinagrette.

Drinks! These we actually got from Bex, and I don't know where she got those. These were delicious, and FYI, are great as bases for Sangria, or mixed with your choice of clear liquor if you are so inclined. We kept 'em family friendly for this event.

Rosy Lemonade Punch:
2 packages frozen mixed berries
2 12 oz cans frozen lemonade concentrate
2 2 liter bottles ginger ale
2 2 liter bottles club soda
orange and banana slices

What we did: Well, we had this HUGE watermelon purchase just for this and the fruit tray. We cut the watermelon a little higher than halfway, and left a "handle." After scooping out watermelon and seeds, we mixed half the ingredients so it wouldn't overflow, then kept the extra soda bottles nearby to add as the level lowered. This was VERY refreshing and light, and there was none left over.

Delicious Strawberry Punch:
2 cans frozen strawberry daiquiri mix
2 bottles Sprite or Lemon Lime soda
1 carton lime sherbet
Fresh, sliced strawberries as garnish

Mix soda and daquiri mix. Add sherbet last, and garnish with strawberries.

S also made Tabbouleh, carrot cake cupcakes, and vanilla vegan cupcakes, but I have to ask her permission to print those recipes. Believe me though, there was NO Tabbouleh left, and the vegan cupcakes are incredibly good, with the top taking on a sugar cookie texture.

All in all, despite the work and chaos, it was nice to cook a new type of food, and I'm happy to add new items to my recipe book.

6 Month Checkup

No shots until three weeks from now, because there wasn't enough space between the last set of shots. Then, thank God, she is done for the next three months.


I know she needs them, but she always has a bad reaction. It sucks.

Okay, what else? Well, she's crawling everywhere, which the doctor said was very advanced, as most babies don't start crawling till about eight months or so. However, she still can't really sit up by herself, so we're a little backwards in that.

Her head is rounding out more, and she is of course just perfect in every way.

She's babbling, and saying MaMa, and I swear she's trying to say AnnaBella a lot.

She is a real handful.

Leaps and Bounds

I can't believe the speedy evolution of our daughter's personality. She definitely is our child, because she is drawn towards shoes and books like they are filled with the tastiest milk and cereal. She loves her baths, although sometimes I have to keep an arm constantly against her chest, lest she fling herself out. She enjoys having the shower had rain down on her and playing in the spray, to the point where her bounces thrust her mini tub down the length of the bath.

She can't quite crawl yet, but moves herself around rather quickly in circles. She does get her knees up, but then goes, "Wait let's just go straight to walking," which doesn't work just yet.

She loves her giraffe, hearing daddy on the phone (oh yeah, she loves phones too. And remotes), and her bouncer.

She still wakes up screeching sometimes, and cries in her sleep throughout the night, but I've started her bedtime routine earlier and that seems to help. Last night she wouldn't go to bed but on the whole she's been sleeping until about 1 or 1:30 in the morning, and then is up till three, then back to bed until 7. Somehow this works for me; I think because from 6:30 till 1:00 am she's asleep and I can wind down and get some rest before fireworks.

We've definitely had to be careful regarding what's in her reach. I vacuum more and do a quick sweep of any cords or objects she could pull on herself. Two months ago I didn't have to give this a passing thought.

She is very strong-willed, loves to talk and laugh. She can get mad in a second though. I'm talking from screaming with laughter to wailing in anger. She loves cereal and so far, all her veggies.

Each day I learn something new and am enjoying her company.

I Don't Know What Babies Are Scared Of

...but it sounds absolutely terrifying.

I wish there was some way we could see into the mind of babies. Bella has these night terrors that send her screaming, crawling in her sleep, and bawling her eyes out. The only thing that gets her back to sleep is putting her bobo in her mouth. The saddest thing I saw of her having these terrors was I walked in one time while she was screaming and trying to put her bobo in her mouth while sleeping. That is heartbreaking, I tell you.

Okay, now typically you read that what the medical community calls night terrors doesn't occur in children before the toddler stage. However, you can find just as many people saying their four five, or six month old has something terrible happening to them.

She's also started to bolt awake from her naps this way. It takes a few minutes to calm her down, and she usually doesn't want to leave my arms after that. It's very jolting.

Is it worth talking to her doctor? This seems to be fairly common, from the various boards I've read. On the selfish part, I wish I could get a full night's sleep, being woken up six-eight times in a night can play havoc on short term memory and energy throughout the day, but mostly I'd like her to have a good rest herself.

I think I hear her crying again so I will sign off for now.

5 Month Milestones

She loves cereal to the point where she doesn't trust you to feed her; oh no, she grabs that spoon and attempts to shove it down her throat. She also makes "nom nom nom" noises.

Rolls over and over and over. Can also crawl backwards.

Alert. Focuses more, converses with you, her toy giraffe, shoes.

Knows how to turn her music toys on and ofdoes so often...even in the middle of the night!

Can hold bottle

Has already pulled dog's hair. Poor chico!

Second Thoughts

After I finished writing my post, I went and sat with my mom for a bit. Then I took Bella's playyard and bouncer outside by the pool. I set her up in that, made a bowl of cereal and grabbed my Kindle, and read some Wind in the Willows aloud while feeding her some lunch. I know she is too young to understand, but since I found out you can download some classic books for free, I have been acquiring title upon title. I loved the Adventures of Mr. Toad as a kid,, and always wanted to read the book. So, it's mainly more for me, but she does seem to like the voices.

After lunch, she napped in her playyard and I floated around the pool, tanned, and did some yoga outside. I felt a LOT better after all this. Later, sitting with my parents and brother, listening to Bob Marley, I thought about how hard Al works during the week, and rarely gets to have days where he can be lazy like I was today. In fact, he's been sick the past two weeks, so he's really had a rough time. I wish I could think of that more often and remember how lucky I am. Because I really am blessed.

I also received this fantastic photo album from my other mother-in-law, Irma. It's 100 pictures of Anna Bella, all taken from camera phone pics and/or Facebook pics, and they look great! There were some I hadn't even seen, and my favorite one of her. It's sitting by my computer right now. I've looked at it probably about ten times since receiving it.

Well, I have laundry to put away and Bella is demanding more airplane time, so I must go for now. I just wanted to write a "quick" note reiterating that I do know I am a very lucky and loved person, and also to put a thankful note at the end of the day.

The Past Three Days

My sister is doing well with her pregnancy. I watched my niece while Becky went for her ultrasound. Cami and I made brown sugar cookies with sprinkles for Mother's Day. I had Bella strapped in her bouncer, on the farther safe side of the kitchen (away from stoves, utensils, and anything that might fall) so she could be a part of things.

Saturday was the kids' confirmation. The Archbishop spoke. The ceremony was beautiful and so was his...is it a sermon in the Catholic church? I don't know. Whatever you call it, it really spoke to me. After we had a wonderful luncheon at my in-laws. The food was delicious and the company was great. I saw a couple Hilda introduced me to, they have a son two months older than Bella and are expecting another one. I haven't seen them since the Super Bowl, even though we talk on Facebook a lot, so we enjoyed catching up.

I felt bad because with Al's illness, we haven't had a chance to buy my sister-in-law's quincenera present, or gifts for the confirmation. I think we are just taking them out for a completely fun, non-religious night, and taking Gabi out for her birthday separately.

I had two articles published and realized I had typos in THE HEADLINES I overlooked. I don't want to promote them because it's very embarrassing.

Mother's Day was nice. I received a gorgeous card from Al with Bella's hand outlined. We also did hand and feet outlines for the grandmothers' cards. My mother received a cute "spa set" with robe, head towel and shower mesh. We also got Hilda some fancy Lindt chocolates that were mini desserts like Tiramisu, Creme Brulee, etc. The Barcelos bought me two gorgeous shirts, a cute pair of flip flops and some bubble bath. I didn't really rest or relax, because I had laundry to do and Bella's been very fussy lately, so she requires a lot of attention. She likes constant stimulation, and mostly catnaps during the day, so there's not really a lot of rest. I did get a two hour nap in Friday thanks to my mom, so I guess I shouldn't gripe. It's more than most people get.

I'm really trying to be more optimistic and count my blessings, I don't know why it's so hard. Everyone informs my that I don't have post-partum depression since I actually function, so I guess I'm just being selfish. Anyway, I didn't mean to end this on a down note (see? there I go being a big old grouch) so I WILL say that I plan on taking Bella for a nice long walk later this afternoon, and then maybe some pool time. I think that will help, plus I can get some exercise in while spending time with her.

A Confession

Sometimes, when Bella's doing her wake up noises and I'm really exhausted from being up and down checking on her, and I see it's light outside, I let someone else grab her.

I mean, I think it's only happened twice, but still, I've done it.

I think, At least I'm not as bad as that mom on vh1's "You're Cut Off!" who never saw her kid and I don't think even knew her daughter's name, but that's not really the best line of defense now, is it?

WE HAVE A FORMULA WINNER

Similac Spit-up. Out of all the formulas Bella's tried, she's spit up the least number of times and the least amount with this.

It's in the green container.

You don't know what a relief this is. I'm surprised she was gaining any weight at all.

In other news, our star has also increased her "tummy time" and can pull herself across the floor (always on a blanket), can grab her bobo and pull it out of her mouth (though not quite as successful at putting it back in), and now just ripped her bib off and spit up all over her Papa (we ran out of the Similac and used an inferior formula. Accept no substitutions, people!).

Domesticated

Since I don't work, and we all know how leisurely being a SAH mom is, I've just had oodles of free time. Rather than devote my hours to Charitable Work (which would require leaving the home and carting Bella around), I have been cooking more.

Recently my sister moved to Virginia to take a new job. We threw a luncheon for her, and I made egg salad, chicken salad, white chocolate chip cookies, pumpkin flan, and banana pudding. Since they were such hits, I thought I'd share some of the recipes. At least the ones I didn't get off the back of a package.

So here, first, is the Chicken Salad.

2 whole rotisserie chickens
1/2 yellow pepper, chopped
about 2/3 cup craisins, chopped
1/2 cup chopped almonds (I bought sliced ones and threw them in the food processor)
about 1 tbs miracle whip
about 1 1/2 onion powder
pepper
1 tsp basil
2 tsp garlic salt


peel all the meat you can off one whole chicken and half of the other. Cut chicken into bite sized pieces. You can also use a food processor if you want to speed the process; I mixed it up. A lot of people prefer the chicken to be chunky, so cutting by hand is better in that case. Mix in all the ingredients and stir. Add more of the seasonings to taste if you like. Refrigerate at least one hour.

Of course this can work by itself, on top of lettuce, or on any type of crackers of bread, but I liked it best on thinly sliced pumpernickel bread. You can use Danish Style or the darker Westphalian style. I recommend Rubschaler brand. It's just so...hearty teatime.

Egg Salad

15 hard-boiled eggs.
1 1/2 tsp dry mustard
1 tsp paprika
1 tsp chili powder
3 stalks celery
1 tbs miracle whip

Chop up eggs and celery, Mix everything together. Add more of the spices as desired. Refrigerate at least one hour. This also tasted great on the smaller rye cocktail breads, as well as flatbread crackers.

Also, to get the best hard-boiled eggs, you boil them for 5 minutes, then turn off the heat, cover and let sit for 15 minutes. I learned that from my parents and it did make a difference in both appearance and ease of chopping.

And that's the salad post. Next time, I'll type up the desserts, my niece is clamoring for more raisins and the timer's about to go off on my pumpkin cookies.

Oh, Bloody Hell

***Men, you might want to skip this one. Hah, like any guys read this blog. Or really, anyone. ***


The past couple of weeks, I've had a slight pain. Kind of like cramps, but there was no follow-up, so to speak. Alrighty, go about my business and don't worry about it mon!

Saturday was a small going-away luncheon for my sister, who moved to Richmond, Virginia this past Sunday. Very intimate, just family, and a great success. I was EXHAUSTED afterwards, though. We figured that's because I hate anyone else helping me when I have a project and insisted on doing the foods myself. My mom did a gorgeous tablescape and picked up breads, crackers, and ice, but honestly that is because I finally realized an hour before that I had nothing for my guests to put their egg and chicken salads on. She bought a great assortment of thinly sliced breads and fancy pants crackers, showing that Mom is definitely the one to turn to.

Anyway, I'm exhausted, and the next day my husband takes the baby to her 2nd set of grandparents and himself to the mall, leaving me to sleep. I feel HORRIBLE. My back hurts, my abdomen hurts by my incision, and my throat is scratchy like I'm 16 and front row at a Justin Bieber appearance. Despite sleeping most of the day, I don't feel rested. By the end of the night, I'm in so much pain I can barely walk, and the only thing that keeps me from completely freaking out is 1/2 a leftover Percocet from the c-section. That half a dose is enough to keep the pain at bay and let me get some sleep.

The next day, I make an appointment with my OB/GYN because the PAIN is so INTENSE and I really think there's SOMETHING WRONG. Now, keep in mind that I have had my share of medical conditions in this particular region, so it's not like I have histrionics with no background.

But you know where I'm going with this, right?

Yep, shortly after making an appointment for my uterus and declaring I am NEVER getting pregnant again if continual gynecological issues are what I get to look forward to, I gt my period for the first time in over a year.

And before I got pregnant, my period had been light to the point of almost non-existence.

But oh boy, have we made up for that.

I had to make a late night run for some heavy duty backup, I am now well supplied to, in the words of a witty man, "keep a beheading from being fatal."

Speaking of, have you seen these Always Overnight pads? Holy crap, these babies are the length of my arm from fingertips to elbow, and roughly four inches thick. I have pregnancy granny panties that are hardly big enough to hold this sucker in, but boy does it work. I feel ridiculous, but our bed has white sheets and I prefer not to have my scarlet letter all over it.

I am also well stocked on the Midol, water, and coffee. For a mid-morning light snack I ate the last two peanut butter-chocolate cupcakes with caramel frosting, which now sit in my stomach refusing to digest. IT WAS WORTH IT, I DON'T CARE. I am retaining enough fluid that I've gone up almost two sizes (it is NOT the cupcakes, shut up). And now I'm wondering, "Wait, so, were all those daily crying jags just massive, built up PMS, and does this mean I DON'T have post-partum depression? Because that would work with my schedule better."

How funny that the pain made me not want to be pregnant, but one of the great side effects of pregnancy is not having to deal with this. I seriously forgot what an annoyance this is, but on the bright side, I'm not knocked up. I love my daughter but one child is enough for right now. And if that means doubling up on barriers and hiding our until I can react to situations like a normal human being, than that's fine.

Yet another pointless thing to obsess over.

If you watch tv, especially kids or 'women's channels' (We, Lifetime, etc.) I know you've seen this commercial. A little boy runs up to his mom at the park, tugs on her sleeve and whispers, "I've gotta go." Another mother, who apparenty have SpyTech or one of those Sonic Ears devices because she's seriously about 30 feet away, points at the child and tells her, "The Potty Dance!" ALL the parents on the playground start doing this move that looks like a take off on the hokey-pokey, and the original mom and kid join in. Everyone has a lot of fun, and we are encouraged to learn this dance too.

Here's my petty gripe.

WHEN DOES THE KID GO TO THE BATHROOM? I mean, he's run to his mom, he tells her he has to go, he's done everything he's been taught instead of wetting his pants, and instead of getting him to the restroom, his mom says, "C'mon Johnny! we're dancing instead!"

If you've dealt with a toddler, you know that time is a delicate factor in the difference between dry kid back on the jungle gym and wet kid riding home crying because he's soaked in urine.

And now, all he's learned is that if he tells his mom he has to pee, she's going to make him join the youngest flash mob ever.

Quick Note

I haven't written because I've been busy. I actually wrote a few paying items (!) and I'm currently involved in ScriptFrenzy. Plus, at three months, Bella's getting more active. However, I will be updating throughout this week, so please check back.

Feeding the Baby

One thing that happens a lot as a first time mom is everyone has advice for you, whether they're a seasoned pro or just watch too many TLC shows. Of course the main thing has been breast feeding, which I've mentioned having struggled with before.

Even after the jaundice passed, we still continued supplementing with formula. Despite what people think, having big boobs does not equal 24/7 milk factory, and she could burn through my supply like quicksilver. Having formula really helped for those times where Bella wanted more than I had to give.

Well, now she is solely a formula babe. Thanks to medicines I've been taking that keep me from breastfeeding, Bella has gone from nursing to almost being able to hold her own bottle from all the times she's been attached to it.

The plus side is that we can see what formulas work and what don't. Good Start-makes her spit up even more than usual, which is a lot. Similac and Enfamil can stop her up at times, but overall keep her satisfied. If only they weren't so pricey!. Target's brand is actually very reliable, and Wal-Mart's was the worst overall. I know someone will probably say that they are all the same, but I can only go by how my child reacts. Thank goodness for coupons, gift cards, and free packs given to new moms, or we'd easily be adding $120 minimum per month to our grocery.

I've also been able to see what bottles work best for her. So far, the top contender is Dr. Brown's. There are a lot of pieces, but she has the least amount of frustration and reflux with it.

Playtex's Ventaire is also great for reducing spit up. However, the bottom piece is screwed on, which can trap water when you're heating up the bottle. If you're not careful, you can end up dripping water all over yourself and the baby.

The First Year's Breastflow bottles worked great when I was nursing. The dual nipples are made to simulate your own, so the baby doesn't have formula slamming down her throat. She's seemed to have figured her way around the slow outflow, however, so I don't use these quite as much. I do like them for a quick feeding before her nap. Plus, the cap can also be attached to the bottom of the bottle to lengthen it.

My new best friends in all this are my sterilizer and my blender. We use Baby Pro, also from The First Years. It has three tiers, and takes about 13 minutes to sterilize. Depending on how much she's eaten, it can take me from an hour to an hour and a half to sterilize everything.

I like to stockpile, which is where the blender comes in. I sterilize that sucker first, then mix up a huge batch of formula. Mixed formula has to be frozen or used within 24 hours, so I put aside bottles for the day, and freeze the rest. If it wasn't for this, I don't know how many times I'd be frantically mixing while Anna Bella screams in hunger. Plus, with the Ventaire being in so man pieces, pre-mixing the formula works a lot better than trying to mix it in the bottle.

I do miss nursing her. It is a great feeling to know you are the food source for your baby, and it was time that only she and I could spend together. But, I can't change it for now, and I just appreciate any chance I can spend with her.

Not A Sermon

This morning around 2 I discovered our child had wet her bed.

I had been half-awake before that, listening to her noises. Bella laughs, grunts, and cries in her sleep. I rarely sleep deeply as it is, since I'm continuously paranoid about SIDS, so I've learned to listen for the difference between her sleeping and when she's awake and about to yell for attention. At that time I'll change and feed her for a bit before she's passed out again.

This time, I noticed her hands were cold. Well. I usually have her in long pajamas, and this time she was only in a short onesie and blanket, so that was on me. I grabbed her long kitten pjs, laid them out on the bed and picked her up. And found she was soaked from her back down.

Well, slight change of plans there. I changed her, gave her a quick sponge bath, and nursed her before putting her long johns on. Then it was the swing to rock her to sleep while I stripped and wiped down the crib mattress and remade it. About a half hour ago she was sound asleep and snuggled warmly in her crib, and I went out to the living room to read and type this up, watching her through our video monitor.

So, I've had a lot on my mind, with work (mine and Al's), living arrangements, my own emotional/mental state. And it's been pretty demotivating-when my mind is racing and jumbling around, I don't really feel like writing, or exercising, or making plans. Plus with my phone out of commission, the number of people I can call is limited to local numbers, and it feels weird not to be texting.

Anyway, so I've gone back in my head on how I Could Have Done Things Differently-which also includes choosing college majors, trying out for volleyball in h.s., and two million other things. And then I'm constantly praying for this to happen, or that, and then while trying to fall asleep earlier, my prayer went from the usual to spontaneously going, "I give up. You do what you think is best, and I'll live with it." And felt better, although it still took a minute for sleep to come.

It's funny, because I don't think that has ever happened to me, at least without some huge crisis going on in my life. Or personal drama. And I am a believer in "God helps those who help themselves," definitely. I do not think He is one to say, "You should just lay like a bump and not put any effort in your life, for lo, I will magic everything for you." But I do think I tend to second-guess and try to steer the prayer, i.e.-"It is up to you, God, but I really think you should go this way, honestly." So, maybe, this last prayer is a step to actually having some trust that he's not going to keep our little family in an uncertain future anymore than I'd let my daughter stay cold and wet. Speaking of, this video is so clear, I actually saw her eyes open, look around, and close from the other side of the house.

(A Lack of) Energy

It started out so promising. I dropped my pregnancy weight, and was well on my way to losing more.

Fast forward a month. I've become a slug, watching TV and keeping my fake farm in better shape than myself. I'm very lazy in what I eat, I don't drink enough water, and while I look at the exercise videos and have every intention of DOING them, just the thought makes me want to go back to bed.

Breastfeeding has gotten easier with her, thankfully. I don't have to use the shields, she latches on now like a pro, and we do about an hour more or less including breaks for burping and relaxing.

I wish I could say I am just sooo busy at home, but honestly I only really have our bedroom and the bathroom (once a week) to take care of. I'll help with dishes and pick up, but it's not like I have a whole house to take care of. Or a job. So why do I find it so hard to get up and do anything?

I just get down a lot, and it's hard for me to be motivated when I'm like that. I know the best thing to do is just get up and force myself, but it's hard to do that everyday. I can barely do once a week; even three times right now would be a miracle.

I don't like feeling this way. Being lazy makes me cranky and I tend to want to stay in my hole even more, just mainlining Real Housewives/Basketball Wives/You're Cut Off! marathons, reading other people's cleverness, and hiding with the baby. And I'm sure her recent fussiness has something to do with that more than anything else.

I hope I can get out of this funk and do it soon.

A Month of Milestones

On Sunday Bella reached her one-month date! And on Monday she got her first shot. Since birth, she's grown four inches and gained almost three pounds. She's also gone on a road trip, celebrated Christmas and New Year's, met all her great-grandparents, dealt with jaundice, blocked tear ducts and her mom's general clumsiness, went to Cradle Roll class at my mom's church, and has started to sleep at four hour stretches, just enough for me to start entering Deep Sleep mode riiiiight before she wakes up hungry again.

And for me? Well, I've been learning more patience. And biting my tongue. And I'm still learning how to nurse. I've learned that if she's already crying, you might as well do the diaper and clothing changes that also make her cry, just to get it out of the way. I'm learning there's a different cry for every annoyance, from "I'm hungry," to "You didn't feed me enough, dummy," to just, "Hold me." I've found you can go from extreme annoyance and helplessness to contentment with one smile or quiet moment that lets you know you did right.

I'm so happy that we do have family to help. Thanks to them, I can nap or eat without interruption. Plus, my mom also finished our laundry last night while I slept for almost five hours. That is a great feeling.

I know that, as achievements go, we've only just started the marathon. And now, I hear her stirring again, so I'm signing off till next naptime.

Well, one of my resolutions was to work more on my writing, but honestly, I haven't been very good at keeping it so far.

Not that I haven't wanted too-but-there's Christmas, and feeding, and doctor's appointments, and more feedings, and late-night wake up, screaming and more feedings, and trying to clean and eat and bathe and sleep in between, plus we went on a 5-day road trip to Brunswick GA, Savannah, and Ocala, FL to meet family and friends, and I just now got everything almost in order again.

Today's actually the first day I feel rested; mostly because I fell asleep around 8 or 9 am and didn't get up until noon. Wait no; it was 1 pm. I don't know why sleeping on the couch feels so good, but honestly I think it trumps the bed sometimes.

Of course we've shot hundreds of photos and video of our daughter, which I make sure to post regularly. Right now she is sleeping in half of her monkey outfit, storing her energy for 2 am, where she will scream for about 30 minutes non-stop, refusing to be comforted. Then, when it seems all is hopeless, she will finally accept the nursing/bottle/rocking that we have tried over and over. And all our frustration will be temporarily forgotten.

Anyway, this was just a quick note. I do have definite posts in mind, and will be adding them now that the holidays are over and we have no more trips planned for now.